Currently writing for the fine folks at Mischief.
I’m tall, and I like ranked lists.
Don’t believe me?
Rookie mistake.
Here are some ranked lists.
Things I wanted to be when I grew up, ranked:
98. Real estate agent
Names my parents picked out for me, ranked:
Things I’m good at, ranked:
Ways in which I would love to hear from you, ranked:
About Me
Hi, my name’s Evan.I’m tall, and I like ranked lists.
Don’t believe me?
Rookie mistake.
Here are some ranked lists.
Things I like, ranked:
- Movies
-
Spoon (the band)
-
NY-style pizza
-
Dogs
- Basketball
-
Airports
-
Spoon (the utensil)
-
Ranked lists
Things I wanted to be when I grew up, ranked:
- Lion
- Writer
-
Film director
-
Not fat
-
Cartoonist
- Architect
98. Real estate agent
Names my parents picked out for me, ranked:
-
Rachel
-
Evan
Things I’m good at, ranked:
-
Writing
-
Photography
-
Being a nice young man
-
Reaching things in high places
-
Crossword puzzles
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Buying books and not reading them
-
Overthinking text messages
-
Having existential episodes every time someone younger than me succeeds
Most embarrassing moments of my life, ranked:
- I had to stand in the center of a packed cathedral and hold up the processional cross during my sister’s ordination, and my pants fell down to my ankles. I was 20.
-
Who cares.