Currently writing for the fine folks at Mischief.

About Me

Hi, my name’s Evan.
I’m tall, and I like ranked lists.
Don’t believe me?
Rookie mistake.
Here are some ranked lists.

Things I like, ranked: 

  1. Movies
  2. Spoon (the band)
  3. NY-style pizza
  4. Dogs
  5. Basketball
  6. Airports
  7. Spoon (the utensil)
  8. Ranked lists

Things I wanted to be when I grew up, ranked:

  1. Lion
  2. Writer
  3. Film director
  4. Not fat
  5. Cartoonist
  6. Architect 
98. Real estate agent

Names my parents picked out for me, ranked:

  1. Rachel
  2. Evan

Things I’m good at, ranked:

  1. Writing
  2. Photography
  3. Being a nice young man
  4. Reaching things in high places
  5. Crossword puzzles
  6. Buying books and not reading them
  7. Overthinking text messages
  8. Having existential episodes every time someone younger than me succeeds

Most embarrassing moments of my life, ranked:

  1. I had to stand in the center of a packed cathedral and hold up the processional cross during my sister’s ordination, and my pants fell down to my ankles. I was 20.
  2. Who cares.

Ways in which I would love to hear from you, ranked:

  2. 410.474.9753
  3. LinkedIn